GOING STRAIGHT – OR NO BACON, PLEASE?

A LADY calls to book a room for herself and her friend. “We’re two ladies travelling together, but definitely want a twin room. We are” – hesitant, half-embarrassed, little laugh – “you know: kosher.”

Given the current row over the b and b owners who wouldn’t entertain having a gay couple to stay (if they don’t want gay couples, then don’t be in the accommodation business is my view. Oh yes – and don’t pretend it’s got anything to do with being Christian) I immediately get her meaning, and take it for the little joke that it is. I tell Ian, word for word.

“Oh. So what do they want for breakfast then?” he asks.

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Well if they’re kosher they won’t want bacon and sausage will they?” He’s deadly serious and thinks I have totally misinterpreted her meaning.

I contemplate the prospect of calling her back: “When you said you were kosher did you mean you weren’t a lesbian or that you couldn’t eat bacon?”

Hmm . . . maybe I’ll just give them the menu.

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